Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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