YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
