i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize