Are we in a gay sports bar?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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