im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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