Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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