My room smells like vodka and shame
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Everclear isn't food dammit
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
