I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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