Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
