We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
