Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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