Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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