Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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