stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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