It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
