At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
