I love black thongs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
