the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
