I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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