I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
