...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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