News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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