She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Randomize
