mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
