they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
