By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
