Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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