I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
