i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
