i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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