Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
