You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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