so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
