I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think my fart just growled at me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
