i don't plan on having that self control this summer
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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