I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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