Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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