I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
