She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
