I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Found the puke drawer
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
