It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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