My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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