Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
