he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
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so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize