my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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