i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
