Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
