It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i love accidental penises.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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