he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
