VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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