3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What a dumb baby whore.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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