Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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