Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
