i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
