The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
