we have pet lesbian snakes
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize