Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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